Crying It Out

Back to a post on sleeping. Sorry, I know it's obsessive. But you try sleep deprivation for a few months and you'll become obsessed too!

Those of you have been reading know that we recently changed sleep habits in this house condsiderably. We used 'Save Our Sleep' by Tizzie Hall (SOS) after a three week trial of first controlled crying (CC) as recommended in 'Babylove' by Robin Barker (my bible!)then some of the ideas and concepts from the 'No Cry Sleep Solution' (NCSS) which were suggested to me by on-line friends. With nothing working and things getting even worse, it was time for something different, hence the trial of SOS which I had previously been against. Why was I against it? I had heard it was very regimented and highly routine based and I thought that wasn't for me as I like to go with the flow when it comes to Cate.

Anyways the SOS method involves the using of 'crying it out' (CIO). You put to bed the same way every night (same bed time routine and cue phrases and environment) at the same time (7pm sharp) and you let baby cry it out until they sleep. When you first start, bubs can cry for up to two and half hours. The theory is that you do not go in to them - you leave them to cry it out and fall asleep (as long as they are 'protest crying' as opposed to 'emotional crying' which needs to be responded to immediately. Oh God, this is all sounding very complicated but truly, it's not. Just buy or borrow the book and have a read!).

Anyways, long story short, with some adaptions to suit us, SOS has saved our lives. We now have a baby who, USUALLY, goes to sleep at 7pm without a peep, self settles when she wakes in the night and sleeps through until at least 5.30am (if not 6, 6.30 or 7am).

To get to this point though, I had to learn to let Cate cry it out. And, holy moley, the amount of stuff you can dredge up on the internet about crying it out / controlled crying is quite terrifying. People either seem to be passionately FOR CIO or passionately AGAINST it.

My take on it is this: it worked for US. I was happy with the decision to let Cate cry it out and it didn't take her long to learn how to put herself to sleep very quickly without the crying. Yes, it sucked and was really, really hard for at least three days...but I had a very supportive hubby who was much stronger about it all than me and I got sent into the back yard to enjoy a glass of wine out of ear shot while he stayed inside to make sure she was okay....crying, but okay. Couldn't have done it without that kind of support.

Last night I struggled to get to sleep myself. I was tired, but couldn't get to sleep. My mind was ticking at a million miles an hour, I had jumpy legs, I couldn't decide if I was hot or cold and I was getting very fed up. Then it occurred to me: this is what happens to babies. And because my baby can't talk yet, I imagine she expresses her frustration through crying. And I know myself that crying is exhausting and it knackers you out, hence why she eventually falls asleep after a good cry.

To get to sleep last night I had to read my book for a little bit longer. This is why Cate goes to bed with a book and an assortment of soft toys - some nights she plays and talks to herself for up to 45 minutes before falling asleep. I sneak in before I go to bed and remove everything from the cot and some nights the toys are spread everywhere and the book has been flung to the side - these nights I assume Cate needed some play time before sleep time.

So when I was desperately sleep deprived I resorted to crying it out - a method I never thought I would use and a method I am extremely glad I tried. Sure, a bit of heart ache. But with a supportive husband and the sensibility to change the routines and ideas suggested by the book to suit US - crying it out worked beautifully. Best bit - most days, I'm not so sleep deprived after all. Even better bit - my baby no longer has dark bags under her eyes and she's a much happier girl in general now that she's getting some sleep.

Amen to that!