Birthing Cate - Meeting Our Girl

No 'short and simple' blog could ever contain the magnificence of birthing my daughter. It just won't do it justice at all.

I have written out my birth story a number of times for a number of different auidences. I could talk about giving birth for hours and hours. Well, at least I think I could still do this. I dunno - it all feels like it happened a very long time ago! The details are getting hazy and fuzzy...then the next second everything is crystal clear. It comes and goes. One thing that's faded is the pain sensation. Yes, I know it hurt A LOT, worse than anything I have ever been through BUT it was worth it. A thousand times over.

I'm really going to attempt to keep this short.

I had a GREAT birthing experince. My body did amazing things.

I lost my plug at 10.15am, my waters broke at 12.15pm and labour was established with regular, painful contractions by 7pm that night. I laboured at home with my husband and my sister acting as support people and, apart from some 'freak-out' tears when my waters broke (I couldn't believe this was it!) I generally felt excited, confident, calm and in control.

Once labour was established I got through contractions with breathing, then moaning, then large, cow-having-an-organsm like noises. This was all instinctual behaviour and it worked! The noises definitely helped me stay focused and helped me work through the pain. I also became permanently attached to my hot water bottle and eventually moved to having two - one for my back and one for my front. I rocked, knelt head down bum up, walked, leant over the bench and table and leant into Justin and Kat.

It did get bad. It got to the point where I felt like I WAS pain, there wasn't room left for anything else. I got irritable and a bit frantic and I wanted to go to hospital. NOW please.

The drive (20 mins) was horrific. Contractions were every three minutes, lasting for a minute. So a minute of hell then two minutes to rest and gear up for more hell. I HATED being still and started thrasing about in the front seat. I was slapping my leg hard at one point to move through the pain. I had to keep my eyes shut and had to work hard to control my breathing - the second I stop focusing on the breathing, I started freaking out and the pain became overwhelming. All the pressue was in my backside and I desperately wanted the toilet. Little did I know that was my baby's head!

I gave birth in a small, country hospital attended by two midwives, my husband and my sister. We arrived at hospital at about 12.30am and went straight to the birthing suite - I now sounded like a dying cow so they knew it was nearly time! An interal revealed I was....10cm dilated!!! I burst into tears - we'd done the hard yards! It was nearly time!

I knelt on the floor on all fours with Justin next to me. I was screaming through each contraction - I couldn't move through the pain. Thank God Justin helped me. He told me to stop. Just stop. "Babe, you have to stop screaming and you have to push. Chin to your chest and PUSH". So I did. And it HURT. And I still screamed - after the push anyways! But..it worked. After twelve minutes of pushing, my baby shot out in one huge push, head, shoulders, body...she flew out so fast the midwife nearly dropped her!

Justin and I didn't know the sex of our baby and I was convinced I was having a boy. Imagine my delight when Justin said "It's a girl Babe". I said "No, it isn't" and he said "have a look". I reached down between my legs and pulled my baby towards me - my beautiful, pink and bloody baby girl.

Hello Catherine Anne. Hello my darling Cate.

My heart was full.

Holding her, knowing her...this secret girl who'd been with me all those months. The smell of her skin, her warmth, her mewing little noises and loud screams. Her weight in my arms. The love that lit up the room. The delight, the tears the reward after the hard work. If I could choose a moment in my life to return to, to watch again, it would be this one.

If only I had have known the utter delight that lay ahead. Yes, it's ben hard and tough and challenging and I've had off days and I've gotten cross and grumpy and sooky.

But...oh, this girl, this girl.

Daily I look at her and my heart swells. Didn't know it could be this good.

Love you Catie Coo xxx