Dirty Looks

So here's some news.

We want to have another baby. And not just in the 'we're thinking about another baby in the future' kinda way but rather in the 'we're actually going to try and have this baby sooner rather than later' kinda way. Very exciting, a little bit scary and, of course because this is us, a little bit frustrating too.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we were one of those couples who says 'hey we want to have another baby' and BAM! Pregnant. That seems like science fiction to me. I would have loved to have been one of those women who was soooo fertile after having baby number one, that baby number two cropped up as an unexpected surprise. Alas, this was not meant to be.

So I weaned Cate at 8 months, waited ten weeks for my period to return and have had two rather good cycles since then (at 38 and 36 days respectively). I've had a smear test and a general health check up and three appointments back with our fertility specialist. Good news is she's really positive we can fall pregnant without the fuss it took to get pregnant with Cate. We so desperately hope this is true. But having been where we've been in the past, we're not betting on it...just in case.

So I'm sparing you the nitty gritty details that involve me getting intimate with 'the probe' in Dr Kate's office and parting with lots of good money to do so. But what I will tell you is that as I waited for my 7.40am appointment this morning I received a lot of dirty looks.

Here's why. I was in a fertility specialist's waiting room crammed with couples and I was there with....my darling daughter. And she was being unbelievably cute. And, having been one of 'those' couples sitting on those couches, I know how much it can hurt to have what you so desperately want sitting right there in front of you. Hence the dirty looks.

The thing is, having been there done that, I can honestly say I never threw a dirty look at a couple with a child. Swear it. I had my share of tantrums and break downs and there were many tears but throwing a dirty look at a beautiful baby? Nope.

Perhaps I'm over-analysing though...perhaps they were just upset my child was rubbing raspberry and white chocolate muffin into the carpet?! (I know, I know Mother of the Year here we come. This is verses Mother Who Wants Peace At Any Price).

So dirty looks aside (and trust me, I send those couples my prayers that they get their dream sooner rather than later), here we go on the Journey to Number Two. May it be short and successful. That's the prayer I'm sending up for us.