Mother how you want to mother?

I am sick of apologising for not being motivated enough with this blog. So there. No apologies today.

Just read an interesting post titled 'Mother How You Want To Mother' and it got me thinking. While this post was about this particular mother's journey through the first seven weeks of her baby's life and I'm a long way past that heady stage, I started thinking about how I DON'T 'mother how I want to mother'. Not really anyway.

When Cate was little, it was easy. Sure there was sleep deprivation but, hello, there's STILL sleep deprivation. And everything else has gotten harder. My tiny little seven week old was an angel...feeding, burping, sleeping through...bliss. I am now dealing with a 'full of personality' toddler and man, it's a whole different ball park.

I always had in my mind that I, of course, would be SuperMother. No hesitation there. I just 'knew' mothering was something I would be good at. I had this image of having funny little kidlets who had great personalities, great manners, great respect for others. I would be firm but fair when it came to discipline, my children would know that my no MEANT no and I would make a few mistakes along the way (don't we all) but not many. In a nutshell: SuperMother come on down.

The reality is sadly different.

My dad says I am a Marshmellow Mother and, even thought I'm not as soft as he thinks, I am certainly not as 'tough' I would like to be when it comes to my little firecracker. I never realised I would be blessed with such a strong willed drama queen and I know I haven't always dealt with her in the best way possible.

I'm NOT mothering how I would like to mother. Cate gets away with murder because I've realised I'm more a "Peace At Any Price" mum as compared to a "When I Say No I Mean It" type mum. I have been horrified, literally horrified by the amount of utter crap my daughter has been eating lately and yet, tonight she ate chips from the chicken shop for dinner because I simply didn't have the energy to whip up something healthy she wouldn't eat anyways. I used to be tough when it came to her night wake ups...now I have reverted to getting her a bottle to get her back to sleep quickly as I crave sleep so desperately. She drinks too much milk, eats nowhere enough good, healthy food (or food full stop) and she frequently gets away with behaviour that she shouldn't (for example, climbing on the kitchen table or playing with my mobile phone) because I can't be bothered suffering through another tantrum.

Sigh. Pity party much?

Tired much?

Still here. Promise I am still here.

I am exhausted, bloated, tired, hot, cranky and exhausted but I am still here. Just ;)

Update:

Cate = Good. Generally happy. Apparently has decided that sooking and tantrums are reserved for Mummy's presence seeing as both Daddy and Granny and Gramps have reported perfect behaviour over the last few days I've been at work. As soon as I reappear my monster does too!

Justin = Good. Hardly seeing him at the moment as I work days and he works nights. But we need the money so cannot complain (plus I am being melodramatic. It's only for three days!)

Family = Good. Sister and her new fiance return from OS this Thurs and am peeing in my pnats to see them and celebrate their engagement (after nine years together!). Am hoping I shall muster some energy from somehwere before this big event.

Health = Fine and Dandy. Kinda. There's news on the brew that shall remain nameless for now. I am also in desperate, desperate news of a manicure but can't be fecked right now.

Bed time please :)